Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Comma

Thanks to Nathalie for this week's prompt, hesitation.


"Three things are good in little measure and evil in large: yeast, salt and hesitation."
-The Talmud

"I use my single windup, my double windup, my triple windup, my hesitation windup, my no windup. I also use my step-n-pitch-it, my submariner, my sidearmer, and my bat dodger. Man's got to do what he's got to do."
-Satchel Paige




Commas

she woke
to find herself
covered in commas

she felt accidental:
a prairie ransomed
to ameloid sprawl

reasonable doubts
sprouted
like freckles
on a fair day

a mother’s regular
hemstitch
whined

the little red book
preached
purity

she remembered
the night
she threw the moon out
she shook
like a cat
loose of bother


a laugh
took hold
in her withers
shaking like a sheet,
a freshly laundered sheet.

13 comments:

Jim said...

Gabrielle, I am still smiling over your poem. Of course it is full of all nonsensical ideas.
My favorite is the last, from it I have decided that she is a horse. (Horses have withers.)
..

fourwindshaiga said...

I really enjoyed reading this. Great job.

Amity said...

Quite a hesitation...:)

yeah what that proverbial words you share are true especially the first one; "too much or less of three things are evil and good, respectively!

Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom!

Patti said...

"reasonable doubts
sprouted
like freckles
on a fair day"...happens to me all the time~ loved this!

Mojo said...

Do I ever know about the reproductive rate of doubts -- reasonable and otherwise. I loved this... in a Lewis Carroll kind of way. Whimsical, but only on the surface. Look deeper and there's so much truth here.

Mojo said...

PS: Was that the Little Red Book you referenced? 'Cause I"m having a hard time putting Chairman Mao together with "purity". At least in the usual sense.

Oh, and regarding your comment on my entry... you have no idea the number of revisions that one went through to get it to a point I could live with. Patience, or merely obstinacy? Sometimes they're interchangeable.

Sandra (if) said...

that is original...:)

Stan Ski said...

Those commas can be a nuisance, can't they?

Aayushi Mehta said...

I have never read something so different and wonderful...loved the way it was written!! and absolutely loved the last para!

totomai said...

:-)

comma, a symbol of pause.. and more likely a hesitation

Geraldine said...

Great work with the prompt Gabrielle, tres original! :<)

Hugs, G

mia said...

you are an incredible writer...
gabrielle...such vivid descriptions
as the same time gentle.

love the title of your blog.

gabrielle said...

Jim – Some days she is a horse. I love your sense of humor and playfulness.

fourwingshaiga - Thank you. So glad you like it. Thanks for coming by.

Amity – Thanks for your perspective. I included that quote because sometimes hesitation can be a good thing. Imagine a waltz without a hesitation step!

Patti – Those pesky doubts do seem to have a life of their own. Thanks for your visit!

Mojo – Hi! Thank you so much for your visit and your thoughtful response. Doubt seems to proliferate exponentially. This piece was an attempt to look at some of its sources. The little red book is a reference to any dogma which comes between us and our hearts.
I can well appreciate the grit and tenacity that went into your lovely piece. The result is delicate, fluid and seamless. Keep writing!

Sandra – Thanks for your visit. So glad you found something new here.

Stan – Yes they can be a bother... which is why she shakes them out in the sunlight with the rest of the laundry.

Aayushi – Welcome! Thank you for your kind comments. Those last lines came quite freely. I am so glad you enjoyed them.

Totomai – Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes those pauses can linger…

Geraldine - Thank you so much for your visit. I am happy you enjoyed the poem. Hugs to you and happy writing!

Mia – Hello and welcome! Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. So glad you had a gentle experience.
I love the delicate restraint you use in translating the erotic.