Monday, October 4, 2010

all that was

all that was

all that was
required
has been
fulfilled

that valedictorian moment
delivered neat
in a sweated glass

the sensible career
a ghostly frigate
passing

all that was
borrowed
has been
repaid

the moon
was my purser
your legs sprouted grass

a flock of nameless birds.
backward stroking
oaring deep

Written for OSI prompt, "try".


I am an overachiever. Not by choice, birth order or even temperament. It was a condition of survival.

Nourishment and protection were offered in exchange for a measured amount of success. You would feel it hard on the knuckles when you overstepped that invisible line that kept moving.

For this reason, “try” is a loaded word for me. I struggled with whether or not to publish this piece and once published, to explain it.

Steeping myself in your poems this week, I decided to push my inhibitions aside. As the sky slowly clears, I continue to discover what it means to try life openly and with a new depth of view.

13 comments:

gautami tripathy said...

"the moon
was my purser
your legs sprouted grass"

Love this stanza!

bring on the cawing

Geraldine said...

This is wonderful, so evocative. Excellent!

SandyCarlson said...

I can relate to this. I overachieved my self to pieces until I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. Then I became paralyzed by the fear of failure. So awful. And the ones who so wanted my perfection never offered a hand when I was in any kind of need. Alone, I chose my own road. And discovered I was human.

Thank you for posting this.

Lenore said...

all that was
required
has been
fulfilled

So now spread your wings and find your own path. :-)

Loved this poem and thanks for sharing it and the explaination under it. Being so open can only make you stronger.

haisley said...

I agree to gautami tripathy.... I like those stanza.... Stay safe Gabrielle...mwah!!!

The Write Girl said...

This is a beautiful poem...I am happy you decided to share this. The last two stanzas are stunning. Lovely, creative, and deep.

Ramesh Sood said...

Well, opening up only opens newer avenues..new explorations can happen.. and life becomes so very beautiful.. and talented are always pressurised by the expectations from near and dear ones.. and that's makes them put more efforts in everything.. but breaking free is so much fun.. as Sandy said one discovers one is human .. so no need to try to be superhuman.. I salute your effort ,Gabrielle.

anthonynorth said...

These were beautiful words. Excellent.

Jeeves said...

Lovely one

Cloudia said...

I resonate to your spare,
well chosen
words!




Warm Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

ρομπερτ said...

A deep bow in respect of you and your ability to write.


Please have a good Sunday.


daily athens

JP/deb said...

so many wonderful lines in this poem ... beautiful imagery. thank you for sharing your truth.

Sandra.if said...

I love this!!